1. |
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(Do want xylophone)
Is this fun?
(Mic off!)
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2. |
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I wish I had the time to think
About the things I'm doing before I do them
So many things to do at once
That cannot wait, and only I can do them
A full inbox, a messy house
A hyper kid, a tired spouse
A pushy boss, a worried friend
I'm multitasking without end
But what I wouldn't give to have a breather
But no, I don't mean sleep
But I don't get that either
In a calm and quiet place
Where I can try to write a song
With a notebook and a guitar
I really wouldn't need that long
I wish I didn't feel like a
Computer with too many programs running
And a hard drive that's about to crash
But instead of shutting down, I keep restarting
So I punch the clock and cut the checks
I answer emails and send my texts
I change the diapers and do my chores
I kiss my wife and I lust for more
But what I wouldn't give to chill at home
With a closed laptop and a completely shut-off phone
With my feet up on the couch
And my wife sitting on my lap
And our kid within arm's reach
Taking a long and peaceful nap
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3. |
Culture War
02:28
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You're arguing with me and I don't know what for
Why does everything have to be a culture war?
You're typing in all caps and I don't know what for
Why does everything have to be a culture war?
Is it right versus wrong or right versus left?
If you acted on your thoughts, would it lead to death?
Is it right versus wrong or you versus me?
Is it hate in disguise when we disagree?
Do we have a common goal, or even the same facts?
Do you wish to change my mind or just simply attack?
If you try to tell me one plus one's no longer two
I don't see the point in talking calculus with you
You're screaming in my face; I think I know what for
We're on opposite sides of the culture war
You're storming City Hall; I think I know what for
We're on opposite sides of the culture war
Is it right versus wrong or blue versus red?
If you got what you wanted, would I wind up dead?
Is it right versus wrong or white versus black?
Do you wanna move forward or time travel back?
When you fly that rebel flag, do you think that you'll win?
History has warned you that you'll just get crushed again
I don't wanna be collateral damage for your cause
Think I should log off and put this argument on pause
You're arguing with me and I don't know what for
Why does everything have to be a culture war?
You're typing in all caps and I don't know what for
Why does everything have to be a culture war?
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4. |
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I know you're feeling brokenhearted
You're gonna heal, but it'll take time
You need to find some healthy ways to
Get that woman off of your mind
You wanna vent? I'm down to listen
But I can't do it all of the time
You need to find some other ways to
Get that woman off of your mind
'Cause I see the rejection slowly get the best of you
There's gotta be a hobby you've got more time to pursue
You wouldn't know about her new man
If you didn't stalk her online
You need to find some healthy ways to
Get that woman off of your mind
I see you swiping right on Tinder
Do you think that now's a good time
To try to woo another woman
With your last one still on your mind?
Well, I see loneliness has stripped you of your dignity
Put the smartphone down and redirect that energy
One night, we hung out in my basement
I offered you a Miller or two
You drank them all and I was forced to
Hide your own damn car keys from you
You slept on my couch; I heard you
Whimpering her name a few times
You gotta find a better way to
Get that woman off of your mind
'Cause I can see the ending of this sad and sordid tale
There's gotta be a therapist who charges sliding scale
Your broken heart could run our friendship right into the ground
A man who can't move on's a threat to everyone around
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5. |
|
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The unemployed drummer of the other local band
Told the booker he works early in the morning
He asked the touring band if they're down to share their kit
They're pretending not to have a big issue with it
I redeemed all my drink tickets just to pass the time
Waiting for the show to start was getting boring
A crowd is trickling in and the stage is full of gear
But the other local band's singer still isn't here
There's gotta be a better way
Than playing way too fuckin' late on a Tuesday
To the five friends I begged to go
And the echo of all the people on the patio
I wonder why I even try
To fight for such little crumbs of a stale pie
This situation feels so wrong
I can't go along
I need a new stage, a new song
The touring band's okay, but there's rumors goin' 'round
'Bout the bassist and his sexual liaisons
There's an underage girl that he snuck into the show
But the grizzly old bouncer pretends not to know
When I ask any staff if the bands are getting paid
Their responses sound like algebra equations
I work two jobs so I can pay my rent
Even half a tank of gas would feel heaven sent
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6. |
Snuff Film
02:01
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Do you really need a snuff film
To believe that this could happen to me?
Does it really take a snuff film
For the world to show a little empathy?
It's been happening every day for four centuries
The only thing that seems to change is technology
A cop kills me in a snuff film
And says I resisted his authority
A stranger kills me in a snuff film
And says he saw a potential threat in me
Who believes that I'm able to kill a heavily armed man
With nothing more than the strength of my skinny piano hands?
And are you gonna wait for Shaun King
To tweet the snuff film before you march for me?
My ghost will be too busy haunting
The jury that let my killer walk scot-free
I'll be the gust that blows the burning cross and lets the fire spread
When every white hood is reduced to ash, and the whole Klan is dead
Who's gonna film that instead?
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7. |
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Which one of you went and told my mom
That I've started getting high and stopped going to church?
She called me crying, asking what went wrong
Now I'm combing through my friends list, ready to go scorched-earth
Did you forget I'm an adult
And I don't live in Mama's house?
And if I wanted her to know
I would've told her with my own mouth
Not with a tweet, and not with a post
Family narcs are doing the most
Don't ever think the blood that we share
Gives you the right to broadcast my affairs
Runteldat again, and I'll do more than just unfriend
Which one of you went and told my dad
That I'm having trouble paying off all of my student loans?
He called me to interrogate my budget
Now my ears feel like they've been Velcroed to my phone
Did you forget I'm an adult
And I don't live in Daddy's house?
And if I wanted him to know
I would've told him with my own mouth
Maybe at the next family reunion
I'll catch you up on everything I want you to know
I put up with all your misspelled Jesus memes
But snitching left me with no choice but to let you go
'Cause Mom doesn't tweet and Dad doesn't post
I don't know why you're doing the most
Keep snitching on the fam, and you might have to catch these hands
("H")
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8. |
No Steps or Halves
03:59
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I was once the child who had to feel out Mommy's new boo
And she'd have dumped me if I left a bad impression on you
But from the very first Lego set we built together
I knew that we'd be in each other's lives forever
And now you've made a father out of me
No steps or halves in our new family
When I met your mom, the tummy flutters they felt so damn real
And the way she loves you just intensified the appeal
What life was like before we met, I no longer know
I missed your birth, but I still get to watch you grow
Because you made a father out of me
No steps or halves in our new family
It doesn't matter that we don't share blood
We're bonded by the law and by our love
I put a ring on it, and we had two more kids of our own
Your little brothers smile when the school bus brings you back home
You're growing up, but I still love you just as much
As I did when our family was just the three of us
I have no use for technicalities
You even look and act like mini-me
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9. |
Eternal Grudge
02:03
|
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Hey kitty, whatcha doin' in my food bowl?
You got your paws where you don't belong
I see you munchin' on my Kit and Kaboodle
You hear me hissin', and you know it's on
Now I've got an eternal grudge
You stare at me with a regretful, wary pause
But it's too late: I've already unsheathed my claws
And once I'm done with you, you'll know I'm not the one
Eternal grudge has just begun!
Hey kitty, now you've got me on a mission
This house is mine, and there's nowhere to hide
In the bedroom, in the hallway, in the kitchen
I'm pouncin' on you from every side
'Cause I've got an eternal grudge
I'm gonna piss on every single toy you own
And ambush you whenever you think you're alone
I'm gonna make you wish the humans had rehomed you
Eternal grudge: I fuckin' own you!
Hey kitty, have you finally learned your lesson?
Our turf war has been three long years
I've mellowed out, but I love to keep you guessing
I want my hiss to be your deepest fear
The sound of my eternal grudge
You better keep your eyes fixed on your own bowl
Or else I'll travel back in time and lose control
'Cause I'm a tabby but I've got a lion's soul
Eternal grudge: don't ever forget your role!
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10. |
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I see a baby on the ultrasound relaxing in its sac
The last time we were this far along, all we could see was black
But when the doctor walked in with a smile and not a pensive stare
I knew I could exhale
Baby, you're actually there
I saw a baby; I ain't scared to tell my family and friends
I didn't wanna get their hopes up to bear bad news once again
But now the diapers, clothes, and toys that piled up in this empty room
Can all be dusted off
Baby, you're comin' so soon
The sight of kids playing at parks would make me cry
I used to kneel and clasp my hands and ask God why
My wife and I would rack our brains: should we still try?
But once I heard your heartbeat, I felt like I could fly
I see a baby; I don't think that I'll have nightmares anymore
Of gently cradling my crying wife on a bloody bathroom floor
When I touch her belly now, I know you're there and you'll be fine
It soothes us both to sleep
Baby's gonna make it this time
Yes, you're gonna make it this time
Please let him make it this time
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11. |
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Cops don't care about the drip
They'll pull their guns out just as quick
Your skin will still be black, your blood will still be red
You'll die watching the goalposts shift
Racism ain't logical, you can't rationalize
With folk who'll always look at you with hatred in their eyes
I know that we're programmed to think that clothing makes a man
But ain't none of these crooked cops Mark Twain
They just don't give a damn
Medgar got killed in a suit
Malcolm got killed in a suit
Martin got killed in a suit
Your swag won't make you bulletproof
Your Tom Ford fit won't help you dodge the same ignoble end
That crooked cops deliver to your saggy-panted friends
You can't change a narrative that you did not create
You might as well wear what you want
But keep storming the gates
A dead Black man is just as cute
Breonna did not wear a dress
Aiyana did not wear a dress
Sandra did not wear a dress
How fancy are the women at the protests?
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12. |
I Sleep Well at Night
02:45
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I sleep well at night
My honey wraps her arms around me oh so tight
Secure in knowing that I'll always treat her right
No convo ever escalates into a fight
And I don't scare my sons
When I come home, they never have to hide or run
They don't get hit for what they have or haven't done
I grab a toy and we spend all night having fun
And I don't take advice from men
Who care more about being powerful than being loved
I've seen it time and time again
They've stained the fabric of my youth with tears and blood
But home is where the family curses end
My home is where the family curses end
And I don't raise my voice
I may get mad, but even then I have a choice
I don't let my anger turn my signal into noise
I take a few deep breaths, then I maintain my poise
I do things my way
Who cares if it makes me look feminine or gay?
Who said that I'd mind being either anyway?
They're not the people I come home to every day
And I don't take advice from men
Who care more about being masculine than being good
I've seen it time and time again
They impose such silly rules, and never question why they should
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13. |
Biker Shorts
03:35
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I could sing a song about how you'll forever be
The love of my life
About how I couldn't have asked for a better woman
To be my wife
About how you're a perfect mother to our kids
And it would all be true, of course
But right now, all that's on my mind is looking at you
In nothing but a shirt and biker shorts
I love to watch you walk away
I trace the switch of your hips with my eyes
I want to sit you on my lap
And wrap myself in the warmth of your thighs
I love to be your big, big spoon
And feel your ass rub against me each night
I know that you don't own a bike
But I wish you could take me for a ride
I could sing a song about how you'll forever be
My very best friend
About how you're the only person on whom I feel
I truly depend
About how you make me feel star-struck like a celeb
And it would all be true, of course
But right now, I'm too busy watching you bending down
To pick up something in those biker shorts
I wish the kids would go to sleep
So you could take off those shorts for a while
And we could finally switch gears
And after that, I'll sing about your smile
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14. |
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You're a little kid with a big brain
And it's fun to watch you figure out
How to organize all the thoughts inside
Of your brain, then spit them out
Stacking letters to build houses
Spelling words with building blocks
Making music out of babble
And it makes sense, because it rocks
You're a little kid with a big brain
And it hurts my heart to hear you cry
'Cause you just can't say what you want some days
No matter how hard you may try
You turn into a wailing dervish
I breathlessly chase you around
And then I wrap my arms around you
And stroke your hair 'til you calm down
I try to crack the codes that help unlock your brain for you
But sometimes I get scared and wonder what else I can do
I watch you play with doctors, and I heed all their advice
But I believe some answer lie in wait behind your eyes
You're a little kid with a big brain
And every day brings something new
A sentence, a lyric, a question: I hear it
Come loud and clear out of you
Your eyes light up as you blurt out
Everything that's on your mind
I know I'll want some peace and quiet
But not right now, not this time
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15. |
A New Hello
02:39
|
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||
I came to visit you and say a new hello
I know you're wondering, "Where did my kitty go?"
I felt a bit too weak to play
The grownups knew I couldn't stay
Your father carried me away
I crossed that rainbow bridge that very day
And now I'm here with almost all my favorite things
So many scratching posts and tasty chicken wings
It's endless fun in this new place
So many lasers I can chase
The pain is gone without a trace
But I still want to nuzzle your sweet face
Even though I really miss you
I can meet you in your dreams
And maybe then you'll know what happened
Ain't as bad as it may seem
And when your parents hear you meowing
In your sleep, maybe they'll know
That I'm feeling so much better
And they were right to let me go
Even though you're still a baby
And you may not know what it means
We can still get into mischief
Even when it's in our dreams
And when your parents see you smiling
In your sleep, maybe they'll know
That I'm feeling so much better
And they were right to let me go
I'm in a better place, but I still miss your face
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16. |
Racism Priest
03:37
|
|
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I'm not a racism priest
I can't absolve you of your sin
Confessing to me won't wash your soul as white as your skin
I'm glad that you know you were wrong
But I can do nothing with your guilt
So I'm gonna give it back to you to do what thou wilt
I don't wanna know every stereotype that your parents taught you about me
I don't wanna know every terrible slur that you used when you weren't around me
I don't wanna know every person that you didn't date because they looked like me
I don't wanna know every moment of silence when your friends conspired to spite me
I know that you want to change
Now that the world has forced you to
But don't make the change contingent on me forgiving you
I hope to see you at a protest
I hope you come with some receipts
I hope that you make Christmas awkward
By calling out your mom's beliefs
'Cause with forgiveness comes repentance
You know that it's a package deal
You're gonna have to question your whole life
For me to know that you're for real
Until then, I'm not the racism priest
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17. |
Cousin Chat Room
03:59
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||
Our cousin just got killed in broad daylight
Shot by one of his own so-called friends
And we just lost Grandma six months ago
It seems like the grieving never ends
It sucks that we all live so far apart
And I miss hanging out with you so much
But I thank God for the technology
That makes it easier to stay in touch
Because the cousin chat is open
Invite all the cousins now
But nobody over 40
The elders ain't allowed
The memories and inside jokes
The funny memes and playful roasts
Better to laugh together than cry alone
I'll see you there after I charge my phone
Every funeral feels so fraught
With all of our parents' petty beefs
Whispered arguments in every pew
None of us can truly mourn in peace
Promise me we'll be better than that
We'll still fight from time to time, I'm sure
But can we talk things out and let them go?
Show our elders how to be mature?
Right now, it isn't safe to go outside
A family reunion would be hard
We can't chill on Grandma's old porch
Or have a barbecue in her backyard
An airborne virus took my aunt away
And every unmasked stranger makes me mad
We can't even have a funeral now
So the cousin chat room's all we have
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18. |
D.F.T.G.F.R.
00:56
|
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DONALD FUCKING TRUMP GET FUCKING REKT
YOUR RACIST REIGN IS ENDING, AND WE'RE RUBBING IT IN YOUR FACE
THERE'S DANCING IN THE STREETS, BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE REPLACED
HISTORY WILL WRITE YOU OFF AS NOTHING BUT A COMPLETE DISGRACE
DONALD FUCKING TRUMP GET FUCKING REKT
|
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19. |
Pen Pal on Cloud Ten
03:22
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I just put on a record
By a band that only played one chord
A limited edition
At a price that I could barely afford
Because I know that it's the kind of music you loved
And when it's good, sometimes a single chord is enough
I started reminiscing
About the bands we were lucky to see
About your bone-dry humor
And your selfless generosity
I know you gave all you had to the people you loved
I wish you'd know that your presence was more than enough
I knew that you'd been struggling
But I never realized just how much
But I refuse to judge you
For deciding that you've had enough
I hope the noise inside your mind has turned to melody
I'll miss you, friend
I'll think of you as I flip to side B
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20. |
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All of our heroes are dying
But I'm still alive, and so are you
And there isn't much that our heroes
Have done with their lives that we can't do
So when the Grim Reaper calls each troubadour home
Let us mourn and play their songs
Then make some of our own
A song doesn't die when a singer does
As long as the rest of us keep singing
It may be the only real afterlife
A bell that eternally keeps ringing
All of our loved ones are dying
But I'm still alive, and so are you
And there isn't much that our loved ones
Have done with their lives that we can't do
So when the Grim Reaper calls our family home
Let us share their memories
Then make some of our own
Because love doesn't die when our loved ones do
Our hearts won't allow us to forget them
It may be the only real afterlife
Their spirits advise us if we let them
All of our soldiers are dying
But I'm still alive, and so are you
And there isn't much that our soldiers
Have done with their lives that we can't do
So when the Grim Reaper calls each activist home
Let us mourn and count their battles
Then win some of our own
Our children are looking for heroes now
So now is the time for us to be them
It may be the only real afterlife
What we put in their hearts will never leave them
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The Cocker Spaniels Charlotte, North Carolina
I'm a 41-year-old Black dad who likes Prince and Guided by Voices a lot, so I try to make music that splits the difference. I play and sing everything most of the time, but my friends Alan and Stephen help me out sometimes. Please check my stuff out and say hello! ... more
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